I’ve had the privilege of working alongside women from many cultures and ethnic backgrounds, including running focus groups to better understand the values, experiences, and contexts that shape how some women navigate their careers. I don’t claim your lived experience, but I do understand some of the tensions that can arise.
For many Māori women, women of colour, women from Asian backgrounds, and women who identify as Muslim, cultural values often emphasise humility, respect, and putting the collective first. Deep respect for whānau and elders can shape career choices or influence how women experience hierarchy. In many cases, achievements are expected to speak for themselves. These values are real strengths – they produce generous, respectful leaders with a strong sense of purpose, grounded in service. At the same time, this can sometimes make it feel uncomfortable to speak up for ourselves.
There’s a whakataukī that says, Kāore te kūmara e kōrero mō tōna ake reka — the kūmara does not speak of its own sweetness. It reminds us to lead with humility and listen to others. But humility doesn’t mean holding yourself back or staying silent. As wāhine, it’s important that we advocate for ourselves. The key is to share achievements in a way that shows the value we bring to others – to our teams, our organisations, and our communities.
One way to think about it is this: by sharing your achievements and asking for opportunities, you’re not being boastful. You’re also creating possibilities for your whānau, your daughters, your community, and paving the way for the women who come after you.
I’ve built this knowledge into my programme. If you’re finding it difficult to balance cultural norms with self-advocacy, reach out. A one-on-one strengths session can help you find approaches that feel authentic to you.
The kūmara teaches us humility – not silence.